Workshops for Grandparents

Autism, or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how a person perceives and interacts with the world. It's characterized by differences in social communication, sensory processing, and patterns of behavior or interests. Every autistic person is unique, with their own strengths, challenges, and personality.

A: First, be there to support your adult child (the parent) who may be processing many emotions. Educate yourself about autism from reliable sources, but remember that your grandchild is still the same person they were before diagnosis. Ask the parents what kind of support would be most helpful, and follow their lead.

A: No. Scientific research has conclusively shown that autism is not caused by vaccines, parenting styles, or anything parents did or didn't do. Autism has a strong genetic component and likely develops before birth. Supporting accurate information helps reduce stigma for your family.

A: Communication happens in many ways beyond speech. Observe how your grandchild communicates through gestures, sounds, facial expressions, or assistive devices. Follow their lead in play, offer choices, use visual supports, and give them time to process. Remember that all behavior is communication.

A: Ask what type of support would be most helpful rather than assuming. Respect their parenting decisions even if they differ from what you would do. Offer specific help ("Can I pick up groceries?" rather than "Let me know if you need anything"). Listen without judgment and validate their feelings.

A: Parents of autistic children often receive unsolicited advice from many sources and may feel judged. Instead of offering solutions, try asking questions like, "What has worked well for this situation?" Acknowledge their expertise about their child and focus on being supportive rather than directive.

A: Gently educate family members with simple, factual information. You might say, "Actually, autism is a different way of experiencing the world, not a disease," or "We don't use that term anymore because..." Protect your grandchild from negative comments, and speak privately with family members when needed.

A: Many autistic people find eye contact uncomfortable or overwhelming, and some have different sensory needs around touch. Your grandchild may show affection in different ways, such as wanting to share interests with you or sitting near you. Look for their unique ways of connecting. Love can look like many different things and yes, they love you.

A: Communication happens in many ways beyond speech. Observe how your grandchild communicates through gestures, sounds, facial expressions, or assistive devices. Follow their lead in play, offer choices, use visual supports, and give them time to process. Remember that all behavior is communication.

A: Ask the parents about specific sensory needs or triggers. Consider creating a quiet space where your grandchild can take breaks. Maintain some predictable routines and have familiar foods available. Remove or secure items that might be unsafe, and have some preferred activities ready.

A: During a meltdown, focus on safety and calming rather than stopping the behavior. Reduce sensory input (dim lights, lower voices), provide space, and stay calm yourself. Afterward, look for patterns in what might have triggered the meltdown—often it's sensory overload, communication frustration, or unexpected changes. Remember, behavior is just another form of communication.

A: Plan for shorter visits with a quiet retreat space available. Prepare your grandchild with social stories or photos. Consider noise-canceling headphones for loud gatherings. Maintain some regular routines, offer familiar foods, and be flexible about traditions. Sometimes parallel celebrations work better than one big gathering.

A: Love and accept your grandchild exactly as they are. Your unconditional acceptance creates a safe harbor for both your grandchild and their parents. By embracing your grandchild's authentic self and celebrating their unique way of being in the world, you become an invaluable support in their life.